Live Unfolded’s Alaska Chronicles: Anchorage in Extremes

I can’t even begin to image what Anchorage is like in real winter!

Right now it is still considered winter. None of the tourist stuff starts up until May 8th and winter hours for most in town activities are still in effect. The streets and shops are quiet and empty. For a city that is already pretty small (about 300,000 people), this makes it feel even smaller.

I’m in Alaska for work and I’m walking to/from the office ever day. These are pictures of 4th Avenue at around 730/745am, pretty deserted.

A few fun Alaska facts:
Alittle over 700,000 people live in the state of Alaska – most are in Anchorage. Alaska is over 500,000 square miles and has 33% of the US shoreline. The state capital is Juneau but some committee meetings are held in Anchorage because it is centrally located.

There seem to be more bars than restaurants and more liquor stores than super markets in the downtown area. More than one person has pointed out that Alaskans drink a lot. As I sat in a coffee shop this morning, eavesdropping on three older men chatting, I can tell you first hand alcohol is an issue. I learned alot about when bars open, liquor stores open, what a red stripe on your ID card means, and about their drinking habits.

I guess I can’t blame them. Extreme living conditions will take their toll.

Anchorage is exceptionally dry. So dry that the snow (on average over 70 inches a year) is very fluffy. The air has been so dry that I have had to drink double what I would normally drink at home in Massachusetts. Because this winter produced less than 3ft of snow, Anchorage has been under a fire watch.

Despite my preconceived notion of life in Alaska, you can even get sun burn here. The state is geographically far from the equator, but the earth’s tilt in the spring/summer positions it closer to the sun. This is why Alaska has sunlight for so long in the summer. Having sunlight for longer has its perks but warmer ocean temperatures is not one of them.

Extreme weather conditions aren’t your only concern in Alaska. There is plenty of wildlife to worry about too: moose, black bear, grizzly bear, polar bear, wolves, lynx etc. In Alaska, you are not at the top of the food chain, you are a part of it (stolen from a colleague).

Live Unfolded’s Alaska Chronicles: Light and lots of it!

Wow. It is 8:40pm on April 27th and the light in Anchorage,  AK is astounding.  I mean overwhelming, magnificent,  uplifting,  energizing…and a slew of other adjectives.  I’m told it only gets brighter!

Anchorage at 8:30pm

I am not one to argue about sunlight,  the more the merrier,  but it does make it harder to unwind! The image above doesn’t do the view from my hotel room justice.  I could stare at those snow covered mountains for hours!

Observations from my first full day in Alaska:

1. The people are exceptionally nice and helpful.

2. The air is terribly dry. I can’t seem to drink enough water!!

3. The city is teeny tiny, which makes it totally walkable!

4. Beer is a thing here, who knew!

5. The light is amazing and distracting.

6. End of April/beginning of May is not the best time of year.  Alaska is still on a winter schedule.

7. Eat halibut since salmon is not yet in season.

8. Start planning return trip!!

I can barely stay awake, the four hour time difference is kicking my butt!!! But before I sign off, here is a bird’s eye view of those magnificent mountains!

Live Unfolded Returns

Been awhile…

It has been at least a year since I’ve written! My deepest apologies. A lot has happened since my last post. My heart healed from the double whammy of lost love and disappointment. Upon my recovery, I met an amazing man with two adorable little girls. He is truly amazing and that is likely an understatement. 

My job search hit a road block so I am trying to make the best of my current situation. I’ve taken on new projects, in fact as I type this, I am on a plane to Anchorage, Alaska (well actually Seattle, WA then onward to Alaska) for work. Stay tuned for Live Unfolded’s Alaskan Adventures.

In the time we’ve been apart, I started a new business venture as a consultant with Ava Anderson Non Toxic. You can follow that adventure at facebook.com/nontoxicnikki5

I look forward to sharing my new adventures with you!

Casting a Net

Over the last couple of months, I have been working on dating and finding a real partner.  In the last four years (the Post Divorce Years), I worked on the dating part.  I took advantage of my new found ‘freedom’ to do all the things I didn’t do before I got married.  After you get divorced, you relearn who you are and you heal, it is a process.  During that process, I realized that I was a serial monogamist.  I went from one long term (3+ years) to another longer term relationship and I never took the time to date.  Mind you, now that I have had my dating ‘fun,’ I realize that there is a very good reason why I am that way – I am not very good at just dating and not getting attached.  My issue was never the commitment part, my issue is committing to the wrong person!

So, in this most recent effort to find a partner, I really tried to focus on not just dating a hottie who lacked substance but looking for a handsome gentleman who makes me swoon.  There is a huge difference between these two types of people!  As you may recall, I did try the whole online dating thing – the profiles, the emails, and maybe a date or two.  I hate the idea of having a profile up.  This time around, I replied to a few Craigslist personal ads which turned out to be a ‘mostly’ bad idea.  It was only ‘mostly’ a bad idea because I did have fun, I met some interesting people, but I didn’t find a partner.  In some cases, I found train wrecks.  I replied to one ad that seemed decent, he seemed decent, and we met.  We went on 6 or 7 dates over a month of time.  We really seemed to hit it off but he was never available on a Saturday night and I never heard from him over the weekend, at least not until he went to work Sunday night.  He kept reposting his ad and had a dating profile, so he was definitely keeping his options open while also telling me that he could be serious with me.  Thankfully that ended before I got too sucked in. I am certain that not only was he keeping his options open, but he was also cheating on his wife (his story about being separated was bullshit ).

I gave up on responding to ads and posted one of my own.  I think of it as casting a net.  As the fisherman, you get to pick and choose which fish look best and throw back the others.  Yes, this is a terrible analogy but if you are like me, your friends keep telling you there are other fish in the sea – this analogy is for them because they were right!   Very few women post personal ads, don’t believe me?  Go take a look.  The response I got from my ad was astounding!  It was a real pick me up.  I got some intriguing and attractive respondents, some inappropriate pictures, and of course some less than stellar prospects.  The first ad netted three seemingly good catches and two possibilities.  The two possibilities self-selected themselves out of the process.  One of the good catches turned out to be emotionally young, and the other two got first dates but they didn’t pan out.  One actually stood me up on the second date!

This is not an easy process.  If you are currently dating, you know what I am talking about.  All of you married or coupled people, need to be thankful for your significant other.  Trust me, there are stormy seas out there, especially when you are looking for the perfect catch!

Slightly daunted by the task ahead, I reposted an ad.  This time I netted five.  One was a player who just wanted to show me how great he is in bed.  One looked much older than he claimed to be and far too shrouded in mystery to be legitimate.  One was a flake.  One was just not my type.  And then there was the one who got a first date, and has had many dates since. The beautiful part of posting an ad is that you meet people you would not meet otherwise. My friends and sisters would say I have a type, this guy does not fit that type.  He is classically tall, dark, and handsome.  He is an absolute sweetheart, the right mix of a guy’s guy and a romantic.  After two weeks of chatting (yes, by phone), texting, hanging out, and going out, I can tell you that this guy is someone I want to hold on to.  This could turn into something real!

I am not going to lie.  After four years of singlehood, it is a scary prospect to find someone you actually want to be with.  While I was dating, I went in knowing that those guys were temporary.  This guy is different.  This feels different.  It is an amazing feeling but there is an element of fear.  I am very open to seeing where this leads and I am excited to see what each new day and week brings.  I am glad I kept casting that net.

Simple Pleasures: The Smell of Wet Earth

You either know exactly what I mean or you think I am crazy!

My sister and I took my three nieces on their first camping trip to October Mountain State Park in Lee, MA.  We decided to go for two nights and to stay in a yurt.  Not quite staying in a tent but not a cabin either, just enough to give the girls a taste of the outdoors.

Yurt at October Mountain State Park in Lee, MA

We also cooked all of our meals on the campfire: bacon and eggs, pancakes and sausage, steak and potatoes – we were real frontier women 🙂

Dinner on the campfire

It was a great trip!  It did rain, actually it poured, both nights!  The pounding rain on the canvas roof of the yurt was so loud, it made it sound like we were going to lose our roof!!!  My sister and I were the only ones disturbed, the kids slept right through it.

The next morning everything was soaking wet and starting the campfire was a challenge but we got it going, fortunately the fire pit was covered by overhanging branches.  The trees were a greener green, the grass glistened with rain droplets, all of our clothes felt damp, and you could smell the earth.  That deep nutty scent of wet dirt, it overwhelms you with a deep musky odor.  There is something about that earthen smell that reminds you that you are alive, not just living.  It reminds you that there is a cycle of life and that you are part of it.

I am not sure I am explaining this very well.  I think it is a uniquely personal experience but being outdoors restores you in a way that nothing else can.  You connect to nature.  You breathe in its deep smells.  You attempt to learn its hidden mysteries.  You are left with perspective.

Simple Pleasures: Flight

I was driving home from the gym very early last Saturday morning when I found myself mesmerized by two beautiful yellow finches.  A male, with his bright yellow body, and a female, mostly brown with the slightest bit of buttery yellow, were sitting elegantly on a small bush on the side of the road.  Without warning, they took to flight.

Have you ever just sat and watched birds fly?  You should try it, it is very peaceful.

They soar, swoop, and glide – all with seemingly little effort.  I love the way they catch the current of the passing breeze and allow their open wings to glide among the moving air.  It is poetry.

As the summer days wane and summer turns to fall, we will see the tell tale V formations, a sign of the coming change in season.  Watching these birds move across the sky is an inspiration and real example of team work and collaboration.  Wings flapping in time to each other, one bird moving to the front while another moves back.

Haven’t we all wanted to fly?  Do you ever drive really fast with your arm out the window to feel the power of the passing air? The speed giving you the sensation that you are soaring.  Do you remember riding your bike down a super steep hill, arms extended risking life and limb, to feel the wind beneath your wings.

Simple pleasures can be found in everyday life, we just need to take the time to see them.  Fly like a bird, my friends.  Extend those wings and soar to the highest peaks of awareness, take in every sight, scent, and sound.  Remember that life goes by too quickly not to enjoy it so take your lunch break to watch a bird in flight.

Are You My Missing Rib?

I am the most random person on the planet or at least in the top 10.  I am not a religious person, if asked I would say that I am spiritual, so this is particularly random for me.

The soulmate concept is not new.  Lots of people talk about looking for or finding their soulmate.  Many wonder if we even have one. There are a few people who believe that you have more than one and there are still others who think they have met their soulmate but the feeling wasn’t mutual.  No matter which camp you fall in, I think you will find what I am about to say interesting.

Whether you are Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, you know or have heard of the story of Adam and Eve.  In this story, for those that don’t know it, Eve was created from Adam’s rib to ease Adam’s loneliness.  Essentially, Eve was created as a companion for Adam.  I think you could say that Adam and Eve were soulmates, perfect companions and compliments to each other – ying and yang.

What if what we are talking about, when we say we are looking for our soulmate, is:

Man: Do you have my rib?

Woman: Did my rib come from you?   

 
I have heard my fair share of bad lines but I am not sure what I would do if someone walked up to me and said, “Hey, do you have my missing rib?”  I mean what is the appropriate response to that!  Run, fast?  Guys, I don’t recommend using that as a pick up line.  Ladies, asking if you are the guy’s missing rib will lead to a whole slew of boner jokes, I am certain of it.

All kidding aside, the search for your soulmate is not the same as searching for a unicorn. Although finding your soulmate will feel like magic, there is probably very little magic involved.  Think of it more like solving a puzzle, you spend your whole life assembling the puzzle that is your life.  The framing pieces are the big ones that you put into place throughout childhood.  Some of the corner pieces come with big life events.  No matter how far along you are in your life, there will always be one open space.  That space is for your last major life event (death).  The rest of the pieces fill in over time, some take up lots of space, some take up smaller spaces but they all represent your life and your puzzle changes as you evolve.  Your soulmate is just one piece of that puzzle.  It is the missing “rib.”

You’ll know you found your soulmate when that person completes you.  I don’t mean that in a corny I will die without you sort of way, more like a zen way.  That zen like moment when your existence and your idiosyncrasies make sense, you just feel at peace.  Once you find that zen moment of completion, hold on to that person, don’t get distracted by what looks like greener pastures, they rarely are greener.

Saudade

Preamble:  If you follow me on Facebook, you can skip this part.  If you don’t, I shared that for the first time in a month, I listened to the radio this morning.  If you are an avid reader, you know that music is one of my simple pleasures. For all the wonderful things that music can do for me, it can and does make me feel things I don’t want to feel precisely at the moment I don’t want to feel it.  I have been avoiding feelings for the last month and although I am not ready to face them, it is time to stop being a wuss and turn the music back on!  So, this morning I did.  The song I heard was “Undone – the Sweater Song” by Weezer.  A song I have heard a gazillion times before, one of my favorites.  The chorus touched a chord in me and it will make the rest of this blog post make sense. 

If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel, I’ll soon be naked
Lying on the floor (lying on the floor)
I’ve come undone.

The answer is in the title. Saudade is a Portuguese word that has no direct translation into English.  Loosely translated it can mean longing, to miss someone but it is really more than that.  The word saudade is really an emotion confined by letters.  It isn’t just to miss someone; it is to long to be surrounded by their essence.  I learned this word many years ago while dating a Brazilian guy, this was long before I began studying Portuguese.  We were on the dance floor of a night club in Boston (it might have been the Roxy).  Certain nights of the week, it was essentially a Brazilian night club.  A slow song came on and it was in Portuguese.  He started to explain it to me as we were dancing.  English wasn’t his first language and it was hard for him to translate saudade but he used examples and I instantly understood the depth of the word.  That was a very long time ago. 

I have not thought of that night or that word until the World Cup started.

Many of you won’t get this but I love World Cup soccer.  By my own admission, I am a sports nut.  Football and baseball are my sports of choice but every four years, it is football, World Cup soccer, and baseball – in that order.  So as I sit and watch the matches and look at the amazing images of the people and places in Brazil, I am overwhelmed by how much I suddenly miss that part of the world and more predominantly, how much I miss the person I met four years ago around the time of the last World Cup.  And then enters the one word that can truly embody how I am feeling: saudade.

It is the reason I couldn’t listen to music and it is the reason that the Weezer song was so very appropriate.  Aren’t we all just one thread away from unraveling for any number of reasons? Why do we fear lying naked on the floor for the world to see?  I don’t mean that literally, although nudity would be fine if people were respectful.  I mean this figuratively.  Why can’t we expose our raw emotions?  Why can’t we just put ourselves out there as we are and see what happens?  Alas, I say all of this but I am writing this blog post to you and not to the person I miss.  That person will never read this message. 

So why write this?  The saudade I feel is mine alone and writing this may help me through it.  I can miss this person all I want but if they don’t miss me back, how I feel is only relevant to me. This is why this word is more than just a word. It is an emotion inadequately confined by letters of an alphabet.

In to the Light or Out of It?

There are so many questions like that.

You are either all in or you are not.

You will do it now or never.

You are either living or waiting to live.

To answer any of these questions, you need to be mindful.  It is a concept I have been thinking a lot about.  I find the word and the concept fascinating.  It is more than meditation.  It is the concept of purposely paying attention without judgment in the present moment.  It isn’t just awareness.  It is more than that and it is supposed to help with stress and managing emotions.  It is living in the moment fully aware of what is happening.  In my opinion, it is about really living.

How many of us really live?  We say that we do.  We claim to be living in the here and now but when the world is silent our minds travel to the past and the future.  Maybe we think of missed opportunities, lost loves, future loves, or even the dreaded “someday.”  So many of us are consumed, maybe even debilitated, by emotions or in some cases afraid of them.  We love too strongly or not at all or maybe too freely.  We struggle with cycles of extreme happiness and depression.  We are incapacitated by anxiety.  We succumb to sadness with tears of unknown origin.  What ever your affliction, mindfulness can help you steer your focus away from the extremes to a more moderate center.  I am not saying that emotions are bad or should be avoided, I am just saying they sometimes need to be mitigated.

In all things, there is balance.  Or at least we should strive for balance. It is not an easy task and it requires practice.  If we all spent more time reigning ourselves in before we went off the deep end, maybe we would have better friendships, maybe we would have longer lasting relationships, maybe we would be happier, cause less pain, and be more aware humans.

Maybe we would all be more real and honest, more focused and less confused.  What if we could change our world for the better by starting with ourselves?  It is worth a shot, isn’t it?

Simple Pleasures: Music

Music is the energy within me
Music makes me stronger
Music makes me think
Music makes me emotional
Music gives me passion
Music is my life

Music

Poem By Kyle Froehlich.

I am so glad I started this Simple Pleasures series!  Life can be so exhausting, we expend so much energy going to mindless jobs, doing work that benefits the few, we worry about bills, we worry about outside drama, and we seldom take time to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.  I suffer from many of these same societal ills which are compounded by the inner workings of my mind.  It often gets the best of me.  I just think too much.  You may giggle at that, but it is true, I think too much.  It is the number one reason why I am single and will likely remain so.  I have a short list of items that make me take pause, they don’t stop my mind from racing but they do help me gain balance.  I should really learn to meditate.

One of those items on my short list is music.  Music touches my soul in a way that I can’t quite explain.  It can make me smile, it can make me cry, it can teach me new things, and it makes me think – to name but a few.  I just spent two days at Boston Calling, a music festival held in Boston, Massachusetts on City Hall Plaza.  It happens twice a year.  If you have never been, you should go! The entire experience was awesome.  It reminded me just how much music means to me.  It is a simple pleasure that I wanted to share with you.  Now go listen to your favorite song 🙂